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#SheToo: The Experience of MISA Women. 3. Erotic Continence

Women describe the most controversial practices of MISA, those related to sacred eroticism.


January 31, 2025


Article 3 of  6. Read article 1 and article 2.

“Magic Love,” a representation of erotic continence by MISA student and painter Ines Honfi.
“Magic Love,” a representation of erotic continence by MISA student and painter Ines Honfi.

The most controversial aspect of Bivolaru’s yoga activities has always been his teachings on eroticism. Besides teaching the traditional asanas, pranayama, mandala meditation, etc., there is a special emphasis on the process of mastering esoteric techniques of heterosexual lovemaking called “amorous erotic continence.” This practice requires that the man should “contain” (retain or preserve) his semen inside his body. According to ancient Tantric yoga traditions discussed by the famous Romanian scholar, Mircea Eliade, this practice sets in motion the kundalini (the feminine energy residing in the muladhara chakra at the base of the spine). This upward motion was believed to facilitate spiritual enlightenment. 


In MISA, heterosexual lovemaking is a sacred action, and invariably takes place within a ritual context which denotes a re-enactment of the erotic union of Shiva and Shakti in the “maithuna,” a ubiquitous icon in ancient Hindu art, where the god and goddess are portrayed as a couple in sexual embrace. The late Swedish scholar Liselotte Frisk points out that Eliade conceived of Tantra as appropriate for modern times, “as humans have to set out from the basic experiences of their fallen condition, and sexuality in modern times may serve as a vehicle for attaining transcendence.” 


In 2018, Grieg held a conference called “Erotic Revolution,” in which he introduced the notion of “Pure Eros” and explained the difference between “sexual energy” and “erotic energy.” C. noted that, since the 2016 conference, Grieg’s teachings were more explicitly focusing on Eros: “The teaching got more profound. He was no longer speaking about ‘sexuality’ (which is connected to instinct). But we learned about Eros, which brings intimacy, transfiguration, and adoration. And Eros is a sacred orientation where the lovers adore each other in an idealistic way. The man sees in the woman the goddess Shakti, and the woman sees in the man the god Shiva, so that he becomes an incarnation of the masculine force.”


It is probably safe to say that every MISA yoga student is familiar with Bivolaru’s teachings on AEC. It is an integral part of his general course on yoga, introduced in the 8th week in the classes called “Ethical Guidelines.” It is also a component in the classes on Tantra. However, since the practice of AEC is voluntary and private, it is not known how many couples in MISA actually practice it and, if they do, how strictly they follow the guidelines of this demanding discipline. 

Women of MISA. From womenofspirituality.com.
Women of MISA. From womenofspirituality.com.

One woman (H.) described her initiation into AEC and its impact on her life: “I was very blessed. My first lover was from the yoga course. I was 19 years old. He was in an advanced yoga course, he practiced erotic continence, and he initiated me. He taught me to open myself erotically, to discover myself as a woman. He transfigured me and gave me trust in myself. He often asked me to dance for him. I started to move my energies and to become aware of my feminine side.”


Several women were convinced that intimate relationships were much more fulfilling in MISA than in the larger society. One woman commented: “I was lucky, I think. I can’t even imagine to be with a man who makes love only for ten minutes!” 


In a similar vein, M. noted: “I realize that what we learn at school when we are students, we are not taught how to make love. They just come and teach us how to use the condom and how to do sex and make a child. But not how to love, how to express your heart… because your heart is full of mysteries, full of love and poetry. But nobody cares about that. Society is teaching us this mechanical way of having sex. They don’t teach us how to love. They don’t teach us how to make love and express the poetry in our hearts. And I discovered what the church is doing to consider a sin, this making love thing, because yes, what it has become today is very perverted. Yes, today [it] is a sin. But nobody is teaching us that… you can pray while you make love. I think this is a great discovery.”


M. spoke of how she reconciled her Christian Orthodox background with MISA’s Hindu-based, sacred approach to sexuality. “I realize that I had, from childhood, from my parents, for generations perhaps, many regular habits. For example, it was very hard for me to put together praying to God and making love. I had periods in my life when I wanted to go to a monastery, because… I like to feel God in my heart and in solitude. It took me years to understand it’s like a prayer, making love. And it was very hard for me to open my mind and my heart and fully understand that this is possible and there’s nothing wrong with it. I read a lot about saints. I watched movies about saints. I wanted to see how saints feel… their ecstatic states, their communion with God. And I can tell you that I discovered in their descriptions of ecstatic states… some of my ecstatic states when I was praying or even when I was making love. How can I say it? I have this knowledge. My life is full of this truth: that making love can be very pure and a spiritual action and not otherwise.” 


The aim of achieving “androgyny” though the practice of AEC was explained by one of MISA’s Tantra instructors: “The idea is eventually for the feminine and the masculine energy to be united… The man needs to build up his own masculinity, and the woman… her femininity… the idea eventually is for each of them to become complete with the other one’s way of being… If the man is not… very attentive to what is happening, he will lose very quickly the control on his potential, while the woman is not built in the same way. The woman can experience a lot of pleasure and it’s very easy for her to control the energy, she just needs to know that there is something to be controlled there… The man, once he manages to control his urge to… eliminate the tension, is able to experience a lot of pleasure and intensity in the lovemaking. The woman, while letting herself experience the pleasure fully, becomes more aware of the underlying elements that are triggered in the lovemaking. Eventually they will both reach the same place where the man and the woman are united in this androgynous state.” 


MISA’s concept of the male-female relationship conforms to the “sex complementarity” view of gender in Sister Prudence Allen’s tripartite model of sex identity. Allen’s two variables for her typology are: sameness/difference and equality/inequality. In her first “sex polarity” type, men and women are viewed as unequal and different—intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Men and women in sex polarity groups are often encouraged to maintain a distance, so as not to distract, hamper, or contaminate the “purer” sex. Not surprisingly, the “purer” sex is usually male, but in some NRMs, such as the Brahma Kumaris and the Osho Commune, women are regarded as spiritually more advanced than men. 


Allen’s third “sex unity” type regards the sexes as equal and similar, in terms of qualities and abilities. In sex unity groups, men and women are viewed as independent, even interchangeable. “Sex complementarity” groups perceive the two sexes as equal but quite distinct in terms of their emotional, intellectual and spiritual qualities. However, they are seen as mutually dependent; for each can only be complete as part of a couple. Together they have the potential to achieve enlightenment or salvation, as fellow travelers on the spiritual path.

“The Garden of Eden” by Ines Honfi.
“The Garden of Eden” by Ines Honfi.

In many respects, MISA’s concept of the male-female relationship resembles the sex complementarity view of gender commonly held by the post-1970s American “cultural feminists.” Notably, Starhawk’s Wiccans were encouraged to cultivate feminine spiritual qualities and to revere the creative relationship between the Goddess and her God lover. But, unlike most other sex complementarity NRMs (e.g. the Family Federation for World Peace and Unification, the Twelve Tribes, the Children of God/The Family, the Latter-day Saints, the Seventh-day Adventists, the Nation of Islam), in MISA there is no pressure to marry, procreate, and raise a family. Rather than building up a “Nation,” or attaining Salvation, or creating “Heaven on Earth” through devotion to spouse, family, and household, women and men in MISA each pursue a solitary “sadhana” towards individual enlightenment, as outlined by the ancient philosophers of India and Mircea Eliade—but it is essential for adepts on this path to find a cooperative partner, a lover trained in the techniques of AEC.



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